If you’re burned out, you’re overwhelmed, or possibly on the verge of leaving the nursing profession altogether. We know that the landscape of healthcare and nursing has changed in the past year or two. But it’s changed since I first started in healthcare in the early 2000s.
So, I just want you to know it’s OK if you’re feeling like that. So, in this video today and after much thought and reflection, I am going to take a deep dive into exactly why I left bedside nursing and by the end of this video you will get a glimpse into my background story, why I left nursing, and you may be surprised that you are not the only person thinking like this.
You’re also going to see what I did when I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do next, even though you know that was due to fear of the unknown or fear of failure, or just me wanting to stay in my comfort zone. Before nursing way, way back when I was in a different field right out of high school I got an engineering technology degree, and I worked in that field for a couple of years. But I absolutely hated it. I hated every second of it. I worked with all men and this was back in 2000. So you know, it wasn’t a lot of women in the Engineering space back then, so I hated what I was doing. And so, I said I got to get out of this field.
How I got into nursing
I wanted to be a nurse because I was helping take care of my grandmother who had all these comorbidities because she didn’t take care of herself. When I signed up for nursing. I didn’t realize there was a waiting list, so I had to go on the waiting list, and while I was on the waiting list, I ran into a lady at that school when I was signing up who goes to my church. Well, she convinced me to sign up for the surgical tech program she was head of and so I became a surgical tech or at least started Surgical Tech program while I was on the waiting list for Nursing. I finished Surgical Tech out and keep in mind I had a 2-month-old when I first started the program, 2- and a 4-year-old. So now my number came up for the associate of nursing program. They said you need to start right now.
Well, I was able to defer a year and worked as a surgical tech for a year because I was tired and had no money to go right into the nursing program. So I deferred a year. They gave me only one year, so I came into the nursing program the next year and took nursing classes at night. While I work during the day now I have no idea how I did all this stuff. I really don’t have a lot of memory of that time to be honest with you, which is something that I really hate because I do not remember a lot of it, but I do know that I was doing it for a purpose, right? Like I had a goal in mind, and I was just trying to succeed and get ahead and be able to provide.
The hardships on the path to becoming a CRNA
So anyway, I became a Surgical Tech and that’s how I found out about CRNA’s. Before that, I never even heard of a CRNA. And so, I kind of made my decision that you know, maybe I could be a CRNA, but it was so far-fetched that it’s like I don’t know. I would laugh whenever I thought I could be a CRNA because I didn’t see how I’m going to go from a Surgical Tech to a CRNA. And honestly, I even had a pit stop as a nursing assistant before I became a surgical tech right and so to go from nursing assistant to CRNA just seemed unheard of, right? It just seemed very impossible at the time. I finished nursing and got my nursing license. I went straight to ICU as one of the CRNA’s had advised me. But I got there, and I absolutely hated my job. I felt like quitting but of course, I had put in the work and couldn’t quit. So, I stuck with it because I also knew that I didn’t have to stay in that department and that’s kind of what I did. I ended up leaving that department and kept striving to become a CRNA.
And after four years of just working as a critical care nurse, I finally checked off all the boxes to apply for CRNA school. And by that, I mean I had gotten my bachelor’s in nursing degree, my CCRN certification, and took the GRE. I got valuable ICU experience right? So, I have done all those things, so you know what? I applied for CRNA school. And I heard nothing. I got no interviews the first time I applied, and I applied to 10 CRNA schools. And the two schools in my state I didn’t hear anything from them. I put in a couple more applications. I finally got two interviews and you know what happened. I got rejected. Right, they said no. So, I quit trying because the pain was so hard. It was so painful. The rejection and the feeling of failure were so hard that I said, you know what? I can’t do this right, but that left me really confused because I was just thinking deep down. I really, really want to be a CRNA.
I don’t know if you ever heard of Eric Thomas or ET, he’s a motivational speaker. He said you should want whatever that thing is so bad you can’t even breathe, and that’s how I felt whenever I thought about being a CRNA. I felt like I must do this because s my purpose. It’s my calling. But again, I just kind of felt so confused- what am I supposed to do now, right? So I also felt embarrassed at my current job because I had told everybody, you know? Like I’m applying to CRNA school and I’m probably going to get in. I got all the boxes checked off. So anyway, I decided to leave that unit altogether and applied to other positions. So those are some other things I did when I was like I still don’t feel like I want to work in this unit, or even in this role. So yeah, I decided to leave that unit. One other thing that I did was I tried to do nursing informatics because I really do love computers. When I did engineering technology, we used to tear take computers apart and put them back together. But then that was, you know I even applied for that, and the lady told me even though I was the most qualified, I haven’t been in nursing long enough like you haven’t paid your dues to nursing. Whatever that means. So anyway, the good thing about that is that if I hadn’t got that job, I probably wouldn’t be CRNA today, right? So I mean it worked out the way it’s supposed to work out.
Things to think about before leaving bedside nursing
So, after quitting for about 3 years, I would find myself thinking about being a CRNA. That’s all I ever thought about and then I even had some of my co-workers say- you really should try again because I don’t know anybody as passionate and serious about being a CRNA. It doesn’t even make sense that you’re not talking about it anymore. So, I asked myself, what do I want in my life and career? What am I looking for? What would I be happy with? What can I settle for, right? And so, the things I decided on really were flexibility, autonomy, financial security, and freedom. I decided that I would try one more time to get into CRNA school, but only this time I would do it with a strategic plan because I felt like becoming a CRNA would give me all those things that I wanted in my life, right? So, the plan I came up with and the plan I use are now part of my Get Accepted Now system. As an ICU nurse, I already know you’ve likely had the same thoughts of I want to leave the bedside. Maybe leave the whole profession. I want to become an advanced nurse practitioner. It’s ok. Stop feeling bad about that.
Bottom Line
Take time to decide what you want for the rest of your life and in your career. Life is too short. Something I always tell people is. We’re living as if we’re going to live forever and forever, and that’s not true. We don’t know when our time is up, so it’s time to act now, right? so. As I wrap this up, I just want you to again take out a piece of paper. Write down what your goals are. Write down what you want in your life, and in your career. And then I want you to write down the steps. And then just start going down the list. Just working on what you can work on because again, life’s too short and again, it’s ok if you don’t want to be an ICU nurse anymore. But then it’s like what’s the next goal? What’s the next thing you’re striving for? Have a plan for how you’re going to exit, whether that’s to be CRNA or whatever else you want to be.
